I’m so afraid that this time will be different
That I won’t love her as much
Or with the same ferocity
As the first time.
I’m afraid I’ll look back
And feel immense guilt for leaving
For abandoning the best thing I’ve ever done
A few moons ago I walked from FiDi to LES
I held her indelible spirit up
And whispered a gentle song of gratitude
For the love, the joy and the immense healing she’d brought with her
When she became my little best friend
A few moons later my spirit showed me who was waiting for me in Little Rock
And I’m scared that Bae won’t be there
And that this time will be different
And that I left my perfect little love.
The best thing I’ve ever done.
Being far from love is hard
But being far from yourself is more painful than any other form separation.
I knew I had to leave.
I knew my truth was being suppressed
And that my spirit was buried in strangled mistruth
Unable to float her wings in vivid, euphoric expression.
So to my beautiful cucciole
One southerly, the other northerly
Know that you have been instrumental in healing my fragile heart in this lifetime
My tiny miracles
My endless joy
I miei amori eterne.
