A Contrarian Existence

Written By - Tessa Cash

I had a conversation (admittedly via text) with someone recently wherein I was asked why I shared a personal life event. To be frank, I’m sick of being questioned about doing things that don’t directly involve other people. It’s kind of tiring, especially as I’m the type of person who will immediately blame, berate and question myself instead of wondering where the integrity of the other person lies. It made me think about the power of talking and sharing and why therapy with a lit service provider can help so much. I tried four therapists over a ten year period before finding one who was transformative for me. The power of speech has saved my life on multiple occasions, no bullshit. So why are we still afraid or ashamed to talk about things? Why are STI’s so stigmatised? Why is abortion looked so evilly on? Why is drug abuse or alcoholism kept under wraps. For fear of judgment? In case someone talks shit about you behind your back and forms opinions about you without even having a conversation with you? We talk about how damaging actions can be but words and gossip can cut deeper and take longer to heal than a knife wound. 

I respect a person’s decision not to speak about things they’ve been through. Everyone is at a different phase and stage of healing but I implore society not to dictate or shame those who feel ready to give back to a universal consciousness of sharing pain and perhaps helping someone feel not so alone in a similar struggle. Instead celebrate the courage it takes to be honest, authentic and genuine about the gritty, sharp and excruciating parts of the human experience. 

Feeling shame and being ashamed is a self perpetuating cycle. In fact, the very definition of the word ‘depress’ is to “lessen the activity or power of something.” Other definitions include to “make (someone) feel utterly dispirited or dejected” and to “reduce the level or strength of activity in something.” (Thank you Oxford). 

I feel as though a massive insecurity mechanism against authenticity is to make fun of people, and I can totally see the underlying ramifications that being true can have when you’re hanging with a crowd that isn’t vibrating on the upper end of the consciousness scale. It’s so cool to know and be aware of this and to extract yourself from these communities or individuals if necessary. Find people who elevate you and lift you up, as opposed to providing you with the experience of being buried alive. Contrarian living can be quite liberating.  

It’s okay to talk about your struggles if you want to. I feel like depression is so rampant because we have to repress everything that’s ever traumatised us. And the scariest part of it all is that your brain chemistry can be altered forever because it is a horrendous, vicious cycle that your body eventually adapts to, on a molecular level. Imma say no to that existence and yes to the quest for liberation to the cage my mind gets trapped in.